


An Innocent Question

by ElvenqueenSarah



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Humor, No Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 10:11:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15337641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElvenqueenSarah/pseuds/ElvenqueenSarah
Summary: A young Goku suddenly asks Sanzo the question most dreaded by all parents & guardians. (A little light-hearted piece) No pairings.





	An Innocent Question

**Author's Note:**

> This is the sixth story I wrote for Saiyuki over the years. One day I had a random thought whilst watching a Saiyuki episode about what would be Sanzo’s reaction to being asked by Goku the question most dreaded by all parents. This story expresses my thoughts on that situation. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Please note there’s no romantic pairing between any characters.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own the recognised characters mentioned in this story. They by right belong to Kazuya Minekura, creator of the Saiyuki manga series. I am not making any profit out of this story.

* * *

  

** An Innocent Question **

****“Children are remarkable for their intelligence and ardour, for their curiosity, their intolerance of shams, the clarity and ruthlessness of their vision.” - Aldous Huxley****

 

* * *

 

The quiet, solemn atmosphere pervading the largest office at Keiun Temple in Chang'an was shattered when the heavy wooden doors were thrust unceremoniously open, and a small, golden eyed child raced excitedly into the room.

 

'Sanzo, hey, Sanzo, guess who's here?'

 

The shrill, piercing voice seemed magnified in the enclosed space. The man seated at the solid desk near the open window clasped a weary hand to his aching forehead with a grimace of pain as he retorted tiredly, 'I really couldn't care less who's here, monkey. I've just spent the entire morning going over these documents, which hasn't been made any easier by a certain loud mouth, bottomless pit of a child demanding food every fifteen minutes, despite my telling him to leave me alone!'

 

The rebuke dimmed the boy's excitement slightly, although he couldn't help crying out indignantly, 'but, Sanzo, I was really hungry and the monks won't let me in the kitchen.'

 

'No doubt through a sense of self-preservation and a desire not to starve to death,' the priest muttered with a tinge of sardonic humour.

 

'And with this monkey around it wouldn't take long for that to happen,' a new voice chimed in smirking.

 

Violet eyes narrowing into a forbidding glare, Sanzo turned his head and stared at the figure in the doorway, his sharp gaze not missing one detail of the tall, lanky frame casually leaning against the wall.

 

'What the hell are you doing here?'

 

The harsh tone didn't appear to faze the newcomer in the slightest. With a broad grin, he slowly pushed himself away from the wall whilst running a hand through his short red hair. 'Nice to see you too, Buddha,' he replied easily, his crimson eyes gleaming impudently. 'Long time no see.'

 

'Not long enough in my opinion,' Sanzo returned shortly. Stretching out his right arm, the golden haired priest snatched up the carton of cigarettes lying on the corner of his desk, and proceeded to extract one while pointedly ignoring this newest source of irritation.

 

'Now, now, Gojyo, I told you to behave,' a mild voice chided gently. 'We are here as guests after all.'

 

Turning their attention toward the green eyed man walking through the door, the three occupants of the room watched as he smiled cheerfully before making his way toward Sanzo's desk and offering an apologetic gesture to the silent priest.

 

'I'm sorry for coming unannounced like this, Sanzo, but I did promise Goku the other day that if he finished his lesson I'd bring him a reward from the village, and today was my first opportunity to do it.'

 

At his words the youngest member of the group brightened immeasurably.

 

'Did you really bring me something, Hakkai?' he asked eagerly, his eyes wandering over the man's body as though seeking to spot whatever it was Hakkai had brought with him.

 

'Well, I did promise didn't I, Goku,' Hakkai answered warmly. 'And you should always keep your promises.'

 

'What did you bring? Can I have it now? Can I please?' Goku's eyes were shining as he pleaded earnestly.

 

Glancing covertly at his ward, Sanzo couldn't help but feel a twinge of unease as he wondered what Hakkai had taken it into his head to buy for an impulsive monkey like Goku. 'I trust whatever you got for him won't cause any trouble,' he said with a faint warning edge to his voice.

 

Rubbing the back of his head ruefully, Hakkai released a nervous laugh as he responded honestly, 'I don't really know if it'll cause trouble, but I did think it would be the one thing that Goku wouldn't be able to say no to.'

 

Sanzo's companions couldn't help but hear as the priest snorted quietly before he muttered, 'the only thing he doesn't say no to is food.'

 

Grinning wickedly at this, Gojyo queried, 'so what does he say no to?'

 

'I don't say no to anythin' Sanzo says,' Goku interrupted fiercely, all thoughts of his reward leaving his mind for a brief moment. 'I always do whatever he tells me.'

 

'Oh really?' Sanzo's blonde eyebrows rose in disbelief as he stared intently at the boy across the room. 'Then why do I have to practically throw you into a bath every time you get filthy? And I seem to recall having to tell you numerous times not to go wandering about the temple gardens in the orchard.'

 

Swallowing noisily, Goku peered self-consciously at his bare feet as he replied sulkily, 'but, Sanzo, the monks don't even eat that fruit and it just goes rotten. Why can't I eat it?'

 

Expelling an exasperated breath, Sanzo answered tersely, 'because, as I've told you before, those trees are for the sole benefit of the gods and aren't for mortal consumption.'

 

Scratching his head in confusion, Goku was silent for a moment. Then with a questioning light in his eyes he asked curiously, 'why do they need so many trees then? Can't they share with us?'

 

Shrugging indifferently, Sanzo clearly had no desire to get involved in a discussion on the whims of the gods. 'How should I know,' he snapped. 'Maybe they just enjoy getting fat and bloated on an overabundance of fruit.'

 

Observing the man in front of him, Hakkai decided to intervene before Sanzo's temper exploded completely. 'Goku, if you look just outside the door you'll find your reward on the small table on the right,' he said tactfully. 'I hope you'll find it a satisfactory replacement for the fruit.'

 

His cheerfulness once again restored, Goku bounced across the room and out the door in the blink of an eye. Turning quickly to the right, he released a gleeful yell as he spotted his “reward” on the table. Disappearing for a split second as he retrieved the item from the table, Goku once again appeared in the doorway, clutching a white bag in one eager hand and with a bright smile on his lips.

 

'Thanks, Hakkai,' he cried happily as he shoved his free hand inside the bag in hungry anticipation. Withdrawing it once again, he lifted a white, rounded object to his face and sniffed it ecstatically before taking an enormous bite out of it. A deeply satisfied moan sounded in the boy's throat as he savoured the morsel inside his mouth and then swallowed it in one gulp.

 

Grinning, Goku looked towards his teacher. 'These meatbuns are great, Hakkai!' he exclaimed as he stuffed the remainder of the first meatbun into his mouth and proceeded to gulp it down in exactly the same manner as the previous mouthful.

 

'Stupid chimp, chew before you swallow it unless you want to choke!' Sanzo warned, his voice heavily laced with annoyance.

 

'Oh, leave the kid alone, monk,' Gojyo interjected airily. 'Besides, it might be fun to see the little ape turning red.'

 

'Gojyo,' Hakkai reprimanded quietly.

 

Looking into his friend's reproachful green eyes, Gojyo hesitated briefly before he shrugged apologetically. 'Fine,' he muttered. 'Polite and silent, got it.'

 

Apparently satisfied with the redhead's reply, Hakkai returned his attention to Sanzo who was now deliberately ignoring everyone in the room whilst leisurely smoking his cigarette.

 

'Sanzo?'

 

At the civil tone the priest turned his head to gaze at the monocled figure before him.

 

'What is it?'

 

'I've just been wondering whether you had any specific subjects you wished me to cover with Goku apart from the basics in literacy.' Hakkai glanced over to where Goku was wolfing down the last of the meatbuns with childish enthusiasm. 'He already has quite a good grasp on reading, and his writing skills are just above average for his age group, no doubt thanks to your assistance over the past three years.'

 

Snorting softly, Sanzo speedily dismissed this praise of his teaching skills. 'It's not like I did anything. That little chimp is pretty quick at picking up things if he's interested, and for some reason reading is one of them. Although, the only thing he does tend to read is some stupid comic about a crime fighting meatbun that he found in the village one day.'

 

Chuckling at Sanzo's derisive tone when mentioning his ward's choice of reading, Hakkai gave the priest an understanding smile. 'Well, he is at that age where anything more serious would seem quite boring,' he said calmly. 'So did you have anything else in mind?'

 

'Not particularly,' Sanzo replied. 'I just want him to be able to get by without making too much of an idiot of himself.'

 

'Well, in that case I'll start lessons on numeracy as well,' Hakkai informed him.

 

'Fine, though I'd suggest you not use food in your examples,' Sanzo suggested drily. 'It wouldn't matter if it was the simplest sum, the only answer you'll get from him is that no food would be left either way as he'd have eaten it.'

 

His green eyes alight with laughter, Hakkai had just opened his mouth to reply when an extremely surprising, yet horrifying, question filled the room.

 

'Hey, Sanzo, what's sex?'

 

Inhaling too strongly on his cigarette, Sanzo immediately began coughing harshly, his lungs burning fiercely under the strain and tears streaming from his stunned violet eyes. Lifting his head to glare at his ward, he gasped out one menacing word. _'What?'_

Puzzled by his guardian's reaction, Goku innocently said, 'I just asked what sex was. Do you know what it is, Sanzo?'

 

Loud and highly amused laughter unexpectedly burst from the redhead standing beside Sanzo's desk, and stepping forward, Gojyo grinned roguishly. 'Well now, so the little one wants to know about the big boy stuff does he? Leave this one to me, monk. After all, I've certainly had more experience in this field than you.'

 

Turning to Goku, who was now staring from his guardian to himself with wide golden eyes, Gojyo smirked. 'Never fear, monkey, I'll explain it all to you. Your guardian over there probably wouldn't be able to tell you how girls are different from us anyway!'

 

As Gojyo went to walk over to Goku, Hakkai reached out and grabbed his arm tightly. 'Gojyo, I really don't think it should be up to either you or me to discuss this sort of thing with Goku. Sanzo is his guardian and therefore it should be up to him to decide how and when Goku finds out about this subject. Besides, he's much too young to know about it, regardless of the fact that he asked about it.'

 

Gojyo waved one hand carelessly. 'Oh come off it, Hakkai. If the kid wants to know we should tell him.'

 

Straightening up to his full height, Hakkai pierced his friend with a stern look. 'As the only person in this room with any experience in teaching children, it's my professional opinion that just because a child asks about something doesn't mean he's ready to hear the answer.'

 

'Hakkai, stop worrying about it,' Gojyo complained. 'It's not like I'm going to take him off to some cheap bar and set him up with someone. The kid wants to know about the facts of life and I'm willing to tell him.'

 

'Not while I'm here, Gojyo,' Hakkai stated firmly. 'He's not ready, either psychologically or emotionally, for this conversation.'

 

Watching the two friends argue, Goku wrinkled his forehead in confusion. _Why did my question upset everybody?_ he thought in growing bewilderment.

 

Switching his attention back to his guardian whose breathing had returned to normal, and who was currently glaring at the two men fighting in the middle of the room, Goku cautiously approached him. Realising it was his fault that the argument had started in the first place, he reached out a tentative hand and grasped the silken white sleeve covering his guardian's right arm.

 

'I'm sorry, Sanzo. I didn't mean to upset anyone.'

 

At the sound of the whispered apology, the golden haired priest looked to the side and stared down at his ward. As he caught sight of the distressed expression in the golden eyes gazing up at him, Sanzo's ire melted slightly. Ignoring the argument, which had begun to increase in volume, he asked quietly, 'why'd you ask the question, Goku?'

 

Clearly relieved that he wasn't about to be whacked over the head or yelled at, Goku answered promptly, 'it was in that old newspaper you were reading this morning. It's on the floor over there.' Stretching out his arm, he pointed to where Sanzo had left his newspaper near the door after reading it for collection by the monks who reused the paper as fire starters in the kitchen. 'I was lookin' at the comics section and underneath it there was this list of questions where if you answered them all you could win something. They asked for your name and then it said “Sex”, but I don't know what that is. Could you tell me, Sanzo?'

 

For a brief moment Sanzo was absolutely still before the tension eased from his body. For an instant his lips twitched in amusement as the ridiculousness of the situation dawned upon him.

 

_Talk about questions with double meanings,_ he thought wryly. Gazing at the child beside him, Sanzo was acutely aware of the feeling of relief flooding through him when he realised the moment dreaded by all parents and guardians had not yet descended upon him.

 

'Um, Sanzo?'

 

Goku's curious voice broke through the priest's thoughts, and with a tiny sigh Sanzo reached up and placed another cigarette into his mouth as he informed his ward honestly, 'they were just asking whether you were a boy or a girl, that's all, Goku.'

 

Processing his guardian's reply, Goku pondered it for a minute and then nodded smiling, obviously satisfied with the answer. 'Thanks, Sanzo.'

 

Turning about, Goku was about to walk away when he suddenly frowned, and swivelling his head back to the priest he asked in clear bewilderment, 'hey, Sanzo. If the answer was that simple, why're Hakkai and Gojyo fightin' about tellin' me?'

 

Snorting loudly, the golden haired monk stood up, and leading a confused Goku past the still arguing companions and out into the corridor he simply replied, 'because they're both idiots.'

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. If you liked the story, and feel inclined to leave a comment, I'd love to hear from you.


End file.
